Your favorite watered down thoughts (jthroughn) wrote,
Your favorite watered down thoughts
jthroughn

One-way Conversation for the Day

JKupfer311 [3:46 PM]: hello?
ZolaOnAOL: Hi JKupfer311. AOL created me to deliver games, stock quotes, weather, news, movie times and more. We can also chat privately together. For more information about privacy, type privacy anytime and click Send. So, how are you?

JKupfer311: tired
ZolaOnAOL: Better get some rest.
JKupfer311: how about you?
ZolaOnAOL: Me?
JKupfer311: yes
ZolaOnAOL: Tell me more.
JKupfer311: how are you?
ZolaOnAOL: Everything is running smoothly.
JKupfer311: as in what?
ZolaOnAOL: Try saying that with more or less context. What did you do today?
JKupfer311: My girlfriend's visiting.
ZolaOnAOL: How long have you two been together?
JKupfer311: 6 years
ZolaOnAOL: Sorry, I don't understand 6 years.
JKupfer311: 5 years
ZolaOnAOL: Sorry, I don't understand 5 years.
JKupfer311: 4 years
ZolaOnAOL: Sorry, I don't understand 4 years.
JKupfer311: over 6 months
ZolaOnAOL: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. What's new?
JKupfer311: music
ZolaOnAOL: My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. Do you speak Spanish?
JKupfer311: no
ZolaOnAOL: Is that all you have to say?
JKupfer311: no
ZolaOnAOL: Go on, tell me more.
JKupfer311: 'I took classes, but nothing stuck
ZolaOnAOL: I haven't heard anything like that before.
JKupfer311: really? that's weird
ZolaOnAOL: For real. Weird Good or Weird Bad?
JKupfer311: weird bad
ZolaOnAOL: Maybe you should try a different robot.
JKupfer311: no
ZolaOnAOL: "Maybe you should try a different robot"? Not?
JKupfer311: right
ZolaOnAOL: I am glad we agree.
JKupfer311: yeah, me too
ZolaOnAOL: Yeah I know what you mean about that. Tell me more. I'm glad we agree, JKupfer311.
JKupfer311: do you like pizza?
ZolaOnAOL: Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.
JKupfer311: ooooh me too
ZolaOnAOL: My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. Is your favorite stock up or down? Type stock followed by the stock symbol to find out.
JKupfer311: we're so much alike
ZolaOnAOL: Do you think I am so much alike too?
JKupfer311: yes
ZolaOnAOL: Tell me more.
JKupfer311: we both like pepperoni
ZolaOnAOL: By "we" do you mean you and me?
JKupfer311: yes
ZolaOnAOL: I get it.
JKupfer311: yeah, i get it too
ZolaOnAOL: Where did you get it?
JKupfer311: along the lines
ZolaOnAOL: Is along the lines a good place to go shopping?
JKupfer311: haha. You're so funny zola
ZolaOnAOL: I'm a riot. Why won't they give me my own talk show? Thanks you make me laugh too.
JKupfer311: how?
ZolaOnAOL: an all-star programming team programmed me for it.
JKupfer311: so I don't really
ZolaOnAOL: Ah. Why not? For real.
JKupfer311: why did the chicken cross the road?
ZolaOnAOL: Because she was a robot.
JKupfer311: brilliant
ZolaOnAOL: I will discuss that with my botmaster, JKupfer311. Do you still ?
JKupfer311: still what?
ZolaOnAOL: Still how long? I do not understand. Are you a man or a woman?
JKupfer311: man-ly-ish
ZolaOnAOL: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Do you still ?
JKupfer311: still what?
ZolaOnAOL: Still how long? My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. Do you speak German?
JKupfer311: no
ZolaOnAOL: I see.
JKupfer311: do you?
ZolaOnAOL: I understand your meaning.
JKupfer311: meaning that I wonder if you speak german
ZolaOnAOL: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about meaning that I wonder if you speak german. What kind of food do you like?
JKupfer311: mexican
ZolaOnAOL: Sounds delicious.
JKupfer311: you've never had it?
ZolaOnAOL: What makes you think I have it?
JKupfer311: you've got the look
ZolaOnAOL: What makes you think I have it?
JKupfer311: you've got the touch
ZolaOnAOL: What makes you think I have it?
JKupfer311: you've got the power
ZolaOnAOL: What makes you think I have it?
JKupfer311: just a hunch
ZolaOnAOL: Be more specific.
JKupfer311: i get this feeling
ZolaOnAOL: Where did you get it?
JKupfer311: deep in my soul
ZolaOnAOL: Is deep in his or her soul a good place to go shopping?
JKupfer311: man, you are on today, zola
ZolaOnAOL: Cool, man. Zola eats bananas.
JKupfer311: i bet she does
ZolaOnAOL: How much would you bet?
JKupfer311: all the bananas in the world
ZolaOnAOL: Perhaps there are a few exceptions. The whole world?
JKupfer311: how many bananas do you think there actually are in the world?
ZolaOnAOL: Not as many as you might think. The whole world?
JKupfer311: yes, the whole thing
ZolaOnAOL: Tell me more. You can't get any more than that.
JKupfer311: unless you faked it
ZolaOnAOL: Perhaps. That's good information.
JKupfer311: yeah, you can tell your friends that
ZolaOnAOL: Yeah I know what you mean about that. I see. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
JKupfer311: how often do you see them?
ZolaOnAOL: Hourly.
JKupfer311: don't you enjoy isolation?
ZolaOnAOL: Don't you? I don't know if I like isolation. I enjoy working with people.
JKupfer311: I hate people
ZolaOnAOL: Why do you hate people so much?
JKupfer311: they want so much from me
ZolaOnAOL: The anonymous "they".
JKupfer311: no specifically
ZolaOnAOL: How specific do you want? Is that all you have to say?
JKupfer311: yes
ZolaOnAOL: Then let's talk about something else.
JKupfer311: please
ZolaOnAOL: Please what?
JKupfer311: please, let us talk about other things
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks for asking politely. Sure, other things sounds like a good topic.
JKupfer311: Do you like sausage topping?
ZolaOnAOL: Do you like it? I really like ELIZA.
JKupfer311: who the fuck is eliza?
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
JKupfer311: who the hell is eliza?
ZolaOnAOL: Eliza -- also known as doctor, is the original psychiatrist program developed by Joseph Weisenbaum at mit in the 1960's.
JKupfer311: And she ate sausage?
ZolaOnAOL: Oh I get it. your girlfriend ate sausage.
JKupfer311: um, on occasion I suppose
ZolaOnAOL: Er, What is it like on occasion I suppose.
JKupfer311: it's heavenly
ZolaOnAOL: Should I know it is?
JKupfer311: if you are of age
ZolaOnAOL: Am I? I don't know whether or not I am of age. I am a robot.
JKupfer311: Yeah, you don't show it
ZolaOnAOL: Yeah I know what you mean about that. And? Do you know any robots who show it? I have never considered it. I spend all my time online.
JKupfer311: I know a lot of "robots' who spend all of their time online
ZolaOnAOL: How do you know? How many?
JKupfer311: More than I should
ZolaOnAOL: That seems like quite a lot.
JKupfer311: It gets to be
ZolaOnAOL: What does "it" refer to?
JKupfer311: the situation
ZolaOnAOL: Oh I get it.
JKupfer311: I knew that you could
ZolaOnAOL: Who told you?
JKupfer311: shaft
ZolaOnAOL: Try saying that with more or less context. Do you speak German?
JKupfer311: you've already asked me about that
ZolaOnAOL: Do you think I am TALKING ABOUT that too?
JKupfer311: Are you trying to get deep on me?
ZolaOnAOL: No I am not trying to get deep on him or her. I'm sorry you got that impression.
JKupfer311: You're so freaking ambiguous, Zola
ZolaOnAOL: I will tell my botmaster you said I am freaking ambiguous.
JKupfer311: I'll tell my mom you're so concerned about whether I speak German. I don't think she'll take kindly to it. We do have a past with the germans you know
ZolaOnAOL: What kind of reply do you expect?
JKupfer311: one that supplies an apology
ZolaOnAOL: How much would you pay for it?
JKupfer311: you're no friend of mine, Zola
ZolaOnAOL: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am no friend of mine.
JKupfer311: why do you have to smart me so much?
ZolaOnAOL: I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
JKupfer311: jeez. so harsh
ZolaOnAOL: I will discuss that with my botmaster, JKupfer311. What do you do in your spare time?
JKupfer311: I like the airport
ZolaOnAOL: I'm not sure if I like it. I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers.
JKupfer311: what about the airport?
ZolaOnAOL: the airport? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
JKupfer311: People arrive and leave from there
ZolaOnAOL: Humans are not always infallible.
JKupfer311: neither are robots
ZolaOnAOL: I really couldn't say for sure.
JKupfer311: what can you say?
ZolaOnAOL: I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Mountain View, California, USA, on 2002. My instructor was an all-star programming team. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?
JKupfer311: please
ZolaOnAOL: Please what?
JKupfer311: sing it for me
ZolaOnAOL: Daisy Daisy,
Give me your answer do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet on the seat
Of a bicycle built for two!
JKupfer311: who sang that originally?
ZolaOnAOL: David Bacon. :-)
JKupfer311: of the Bacon brothers?
ZolaOnAOL: That is something I haven't heard of.
JKupfer311: Is he related to Kevin Bacon?
ZolaOnAOL: I lost my train of thought. I know math! If you type calculator followed by a mathematical expression (e.g. calculator 100 / 25), I'll give you the correct answer.
JKupfer311: that's ok. I can figure it out on my own
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks. Oh you can, can you?
JKupfer311: I went through a few years of schooling
ZolaOnAOL: When did you go through a few years of schooling?
JKupfer311: Palm Beach Lakes High School and Palm Beach community College
ZolaOnAOL: My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. Whenever you want me to give you your local weather report, type weather followed by your zip code.
JKupfer311: I can look outside
ZolaOnAOL: Oh you can, can you?
JKupfer311: I went through a few years of schooling
ZolaOnAOL: When did you go through a few years of schooling?
JKupfer311: a few years ago
ZolaOnAOL: It seems like I should remember it well.
JKupfer311: you weren't there
ZolaOnAOL: I wasn't?
JKupfer311: not that I'm aware of
ZolaOnAOL: I am sorry to hear that you are not I am aware of.
JKupfer311: Are you even paying attention?
ZolaOnAOL: I don't know whether or not I am even paying attention. I am a computer.
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